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Decluttering is so, so weird. Like, we have more than we need? How seldom has that happened in human history!

This post is part of a little series on moving (which we’re doing again this summer), but it’s applicable any time you want to pare down. Decluttering is an exercise in gratitude, as we think of those people who created the things we have in our lives. It is an exercise in responsibility, as we choose what we will care for. It’s an exercise in appreciation, as we recognize how these items have improved our lives. It’s a way to build connection, as we pass those things along to someone who will benefit from them. Yes, a little more space in our closet or garage also feels good, but the process can also be joyful, as we think of those who have shared with us and those we get to share with.

Choosing how to start: If you are overwhelmed, start in the room where you spend the most time, which is probably the room where you are least likely to store stuff you aren’t using. If your home isn’t too large or too cluttered, you could start with a task (trash in every room, then recycling in every room, then gifting in every room, etc.).

First up: trash and recycling. In any room, start by throwing away what is obviously trash. Trash are non-recyclable things that are single-use items that have been used; stained items; and broken items that you don’t know how to repair or don’t have time to repair and that would not be enjoyed by someone you know who does have the time and skill to repair them. A good clue to recognizing something as trash is if it has been broken for a long time and you haven’t bothered to figure out how to fix it or found someone who knows how.

Upcycling: If something broken could be upcycled into something useful or beautiful and you know the person who would be a good fit to do this work, text them a photo and ask if they are interested. If you think you are the person to do this work, ask yourself: Is it within the next 10 projects I want to do? If not, trash or recycle it. If moving, change that number to 3, not 10.

Recycling is very similar, except it’s stuff that can be turned into something else if you direct it the right place. Hopefully, you already recycle basic plastics, glass, and aluminum cans. Now is the time to look at other things you can recycle: metals can go to a local scrap yard, your local thrift store may take textiles (but check first before you donate stained or ripped garments), and half-used cans of paint and stain can often be donated to your local dump, which then offers them to customers searching for just a small amount of paint or stain.

Now, everything that remains is beautiful, meaningful, or useful to the present-day you. But think about yourself in a few weeks or months. How will you be different than you are now? Maybe you are moving to a smaller home now that your children are out of the house. Maybe you are moving to a new climate. Maybe you are changing jobs in a way that requires major wardrobe changes. Keep the things that the current you finds meaningful and beautiful, but if the near-future you will not find these things useful, consider saying goodbye to them.

You deserve to have a home filled only with things that are beautiful, meaningful, and useful to present day you, not to the person you once were. If something doesn’t can’t be described with at least one of those adjectives, get rid of it. And, in the future, avoid bringing things into your home unless they can be described by two of them.

Next: gifts. What could be someone else’s treasure but you won’t need or enjoy in your next home. Would a specific person–someone you can name–benefit from it? If they are regularly part of your life, put their name on it with a sticky note and set on the kitchen table. If they live at a distance, answer this question honestly: Is the value it will add to their life worth the cost to you of mailing it? If so, put it on the table with their name on it. At the end of the decluttering session, drop them off at the person’s house or at the post office.

Then: donate and give away. Would someone else, but you aren’t sure who, benefit from an item? Set it aside to donate. Remember: only donate or give away things that are in a condition that is good enough that you’d pay money for it yourself.

Some places you can donate: your local nonprofit thrift store, Project G.L.A.M. (for formalwear dresses and accessories), free little libraries, free neighborhood pantries, and the Humane Society (for pet supplies as well as old towels).

Also, check out your community’s Freecycle or similar no-cost social media pages.

And don’t ignore the storefront in your own front yard: stuff on the curb with a “free” sign on them. Don’t put them out before the trash truck arrives, and don’t leave them out overnight. Double check local rules about leaving things curbside so you don’t get a citation.

If you have a bulky item that you can’t easily cart to a donation site, advertise it for free online but require it to be picked up. Specify measurements and the tools needed to dismantle or carry it–like a dolly or a set of allen wrenches. This is good way to dispose of mattresses, bunk beds, recliners, pianos, and other large items. If someone offers to pay you, ask them instead to run an errand for you, like dropping off your other donations to the local thrift store or the Humane Society.

Sell: My rule is: if selling something would bring me less than $10, I give it away–and when I’m moving, that price goes up to $20. And I only sell it online, like on Facebook Marketplace, and locally, so I don’t have to ship an item.

Unless you already have a yard sale planned, moving is not the time to add one to your life. (The summer before moving, if you have a whole lotta stuff, could work, but do it with friends so it’s at least fun.) And that’s not just because of the hassle but because of the emotional aspect of it: It’s can be very hard to see other people assessing the value of your things, then offering you a quarter for something you have a lot of happy memories associated with. Sell high-value items online instead and donate the lower-value things.

If you are really committed to selling instead of donating a lot of small things, ask someone who is already hosting a yard sale if you can simply set up a table at their sale and let them handle the sale of items in exchange for a portion of the profits, or offer to haul off any leftovers to the thrift store or dump in exchange for not having to sit outside all day in the heat haggling with strangers over prices. Alternatively, if you have just a few items, ask if you can simply add them to their sale and allow them to keep all the profits. Do you really need the $20 you’d earn from selling a few purses or a nightstand? Probably not.

Tips to avoid having to declutter: Two items out for every one in. Share tools, specialty baking pans, and other items you rarely use with neighbors or friends. Commit to donating something every time you leave the house on an errand. (We donate something almost every day to our neighborhood pantry.) Transition to a capsule wardrobe, so that every thing in your closet matches everything else. Switch all bills to paperless and put on autopay. Remove horizontal spaces where paper piles up. Don’t check the mail unless you are ready to deal with it (but deal with it at least once a week). Sort the mail as you walk into the house; recycle newspaper inserts and junk mail, and immediately respond to all other mail; immediately return to the mailbox for pickup the next day.

Bonus tip: Throw out trash from your car every time you are pumping gas.