Foxhole Advice: Comparing Mothers

Posted on by Rebecca Barrettfox

Dear Family Foxhole,

I’m a 3rd grade girl. A girl in my class keeps bragging about how much money her mom spends on her (the girl’s) make-up, hair, and nails. I mostly ignore her, but this week she said that my mom must not love me since she doesn’t pay for me to have these things. That really bothered me because my family doesn’t have a lot of money but I don’t want her saying that. What can I do to make Miss Makeup shut up about this?

Upset

Dear Upset,

Miss Makeup’s mom spends a lot of money to make her look different than she actually looks. That doesn’t sound like her mom loves her. It sounds like her mom thinks she’s ugly.

You probably shouldn’t say that to her, but remember that your own mom loves you enough not to make you wear makeup.

Mr. Prickles

Mr. Prickles

******************

Dear Upset,

You know that your mother’s love is not measured by how much makeup (or anything else) she buys you. Think about the ways that your mother does show you she loves you. Maybe it is by playing a game with you, reading a book with you, driving you to practice for a sport or rehearsal for a performance, washing your clothes, or going to work to earn money to make sure your needs are met. If you aren’t feeling loved by your mother, you can ask for her to express her love for you in ways that do make you feel loved but don’t cost money.

You don’t need to convince Miss Makeup that your mother loves you. Your love for your mother and her love for you are between the two of you, and this girl has nothing to do with it.

Miss Makeup probably brought your mother into this because you weren’t jealous of her makeup or her mother. Some people, unfortunately, don’t feel like they can enjoy what they have unless someone else is envious of it. When she saw that you weren’t envious of what she had, she decided to go after some thing she knows many kids feel insecure about: their parents and their financial situation.

Neither are her business. Ignore her bragging, but if she brings your mother or your family into it, just look at her straight in the eye and say, “Don’t speak about my family, and I won’t speak about yours.” If she continues, simply get up and move away from her. If you are required to sit next to her, request that your seat be moved.

Honey

Honey

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Dear Upset,

There are three issues here: Her wearing makeup. Her bragging. Her insulting you.

Her makeup isn’t yours to worry about. Forget about it.

Her bragging shows the world that she’s insecure. She should be embarrassed to tell the world that, but you can’t help her there. Forget about it.

Her insulting you is not related to the first things. She’s doing that because she’s mean. You can’t change that, either, but you can prevent her from saying mean things to you by leaving her alone.

Tell her: “I won’t be friends with someone who insults my family. You have to stop now if you want to continue being friends.” If she doesn’t stop, she’s not your friend. You can let her know that by refusing to work or play with her. If she decides that she won’t say those things any more, you can include her again. If the teacher asks what the problem is, explain that Miss Makeup criticize your family, so you aren’t able to work with her but that you would be happy to do so in the future if she is able to refrain from her nasty words. That puts all the responsibility on her, where it belongs.

Lamb

Lamb

What’s Are We Pickling? Red Onions & Habanero

Posted on by Rebecca Barrettfox

And it an old Bubbie’s pickle jar!

 

Ever see yourself doing something stupid, but you keep doing it because it feels good? That is me, eating pickled red onions and habaneros until my tongue bleeds. Like, I see it about to happen, but I keep right on going.

Try them on your sandwiches, tacos, and salads. And straight from the jar, too.

As with most recipes here, this one is pretty loose. You’re going to need:

  • Sliced red onion
  • White vinegar OR 2 parts lime juice, 1 part orange juice, and 1 part grapefruit juice or 1 part white vinegar and 2 parts lime juice
  • 1 or more habanero peppers
  • Plus, maybe: oregano (Mexican, toasted if you like), orange and/or lemon peel, a bay leaf, whole allspice, whole peppercorns

Place the red onion and any spices in a glass jar. Heat the liquid–or don’t–and then add to the jar. Put a slice in the habanero pepper and drop it in, or finely chop it and add it. Try to wait.

Above, we used a combination of white vinegar and lime juice, plus oregano. We kept the habanero whole this time.

 

Building our Christmas forest

Posted on by Rebecca Barrettfox

Goodbye, Christmas!

I realized this year one of the benefits of a live tree: the pressure to take it down.

IMG_4829.JPG

In addition to our first artificial tree, this year we put up a magical forest of conifers on the mantle. We thought we’d build one each day for Advent and tuck a little candy or other prize under each as a way to countdown the days til Christmas, but we couldn’t stop.

This craft is appropriate for kids of all ages.

Supplies: paper in various shades of green, paint (We use black, white, red, rose glitter, and gold glitter paint), brushes and sponges, tape or small stapler

To do (by Lamb):

  1. Paint some of your sheets of paper with fun designs. We used zigzags, stripes, and even leopard spots.
  2. Cut paper into cones. You might have a preferred way to do this, but we never found one we loved. One idea: trace circles of various sizes (use bowls or saucers or plates), then cut out. Cut in half, and bend each into a cone. Secure with tape or small staples.
  3. Build trees out of a single cone, or stack. If stacking, add fringe or a wavy edge to tiers.
  4. If you feel extra creative, decorate by painting on little birds, squirrels, porcupines, raccoons, etc.!

 

 

What Are We Pickling? A month of pickled faves

Posted on by Rebecca Barrettfox

New Year’s Day is celebrated for some folks with black eyed peas. For others of us, it’s pork and sauerkraut. Maybe cabbage is lucky because it represents money? I don’t know, and I’m not actually a huge fan, but I love pickled foods–especially bright, tangy things that make you forget that it’s winter and replace at least some of the potatoes and other root vegetables we’d otherwise be eating.

We’ll be pickling all month. We don’t can because that takes too long, and really, these  things get eaten so quickly that I can’t get ahead of them. If you have a favorite pickled food, please share it because we’d love to add more foods to our pickle canon. C

Caramel corn (not pickled) and soon–to-be turmeric eggs and red beet eggs.